Parents can find it very hard to understand all the changes that they have gone through. They may well have become accustomed to the idea of living together and operating as a cohesive partnership, but when children arrive this throws the delicate balance off course.
What may have been a perfectly happy marriage can become, rather quickly, a rocky road. Delicate adjustments are needed by both people here as they try and right the boat and this can apply whether you have had kids before, or not. Maintaining a happy and successful relationship when kids come into the equation really does require us to constantly work at our relationship with our other half.
Whenever doubts arise, worries come to the surface or even anger bubbles up, it is important to take a step back and look at the overall picture. Do you feel that you cannot properly see the problem due to life’s complexity? So much is going on that it is easy for parents to become overwhelmed and not know how to cope. From an overall perspective, both now have to take on additional jobs and become multiple role players. In a situation such as this, even more pressure can arise as each person tries to concentrate on their new role, to the detriment of the other relationships. To take new parents as an example again, “mum” may become somewhat obsessed with the idea of caring for her newborn and the marriage itself may not have as much of a priority.
Meanwhile, new dads can often feel a bit left out and surplus to requirements! A husband may “assume” that his wife needs overall responsibility and is the best person to look after the kids. The danger here is that he may distance himself from the partnership, assuming that he’s doing the right thing.
The most important thing for parents to do is to watch for warning signs and really understand their partner. Look for signs of overload, irritability or a short temper. The worst thing one can do is to leave any potential problems unchecked as they can quickly become unmanageable and dangerous.
Whenever the kids are not around, sit down and have a very deep and meaningful conversation. Ask yourself whether you are being reasonable and ask the other for their honest input. Remind each other that things have changed now that you have additional family members and this is to be understood, priorities now look different.
You both have to work together as a cohesive team to raise your children in the way you want, and you shouldn’t underestimate how much effort and active input this takes from both of you. When all is said and done, give each other a hug and remember that you are the leaders of the pack!
It’s not all doom and gloom You do need to prioritise time together, but just make sure that your time represents quality time. Ask yourself when you last spent a weekend away together or did something fun with each other. Plan a really nice, romantic dinner and don’t forget those meaningful, romance filled surprises, from back in the day.
Experts can often help mums with their huge challenge ahead, especially those who are still working when all this madness is going on. Thankfully, online life coaching is a marvellous way to pick up some truly professional coaching, and when it comes to coaching for women, it’s the perfect place to turn when life becomes manic!
Amanda Alexander, Director of Coaching Mums, helps pressure-cooked, stressed working mums who long for more hours in the day. Through her coaching programmes and online life coaching courses, Amanda shows mums how to create fulfilling and successful lives. For your simple 5 step guide to balance as a working mum, download our free eBook today!
Tags: (coaching, (working mother, business, Family, mother, Parenting, women, work life balance)
We frequently hear about the habits of slick entrepreneurs and there are plenty of nuggets of wisdom to pick up from them. As a mumpreneur, working from home, juggling a family and a difficult business, forming these habits can be quite a proposition.
If you have ever tried juggling the task of being an entrepreneur and a mum, you can see why many turn to online life coaching providers to help them with this difficult task. By coaching women I can understand the difficulties and the particular circumstances, between work, family and being a woman. I also focus her in on seven fundamental “habits” that will help her to juggle it all without feeling overwhelmed.
Habit No. 1 – Prioritise!
It is a truism that time is our most precious commodity and we just don’t have enough of it. Have you ever noticed that time flies when you’re having fun, but the opposite is also true?
If we are busier than ever and time is flickering past, we have to be able to understand the management of time, or we will be quickly overpowered.
Most professional coaching experts will tell you that time management is rule number one.
Evaluate all that you have to do and take time to jot it all down in a list. Sort the list and prioritise and work on whittling the list down until it is workable. When you embark on this task, it can seem daunting, if not impossible. However, with a little ingenuity and application, you can make it work. When you have finished, print it all out and make sure you display it prominently, so you can always refer to it.
Habit No. 2 – Don’t forget about you!
The second habit of highly effective mumpreneurs is that they remember to think about themselves! By focusing some time on yourself, you will ensure that you will not become overwhelmed, burnt out with a corresponding effect on your productivity.
So make personal time a priority and understand that this is not about being selfish, but is in fact a vital investment in your business and your life.
Habit No. 3 – Inject some routine.
Become a creature of habit with a set routine. They say that it takes a minimum of 14 attempts at something before a habit becomes ingrained, and we all seem to work better if we adopt a routine.
Some of us do not like to be structured in this way, but experience has shown that injecting some routine markedly helps with daily management.
Habit No. 4 – Don’t get distracted!
Whilst phone calls from close friends can sometimes be a welcome relief, don’t let distraction become the enemy of efficiency. It’s essential to section off time where you can switch off your smart-phone and apply the voice-mail option.
I’m not advocating that you ignore people, but just try blocking out some “do not disturb” time to focus on larger projects. You can then allocate time to return calls once you’ve completed the tasks and projects that are essential to grow your business.
Habit No. 5 – Create sacred space to work.
The fifth habit is about setting up your own personal and private area. A surprising number of mumpreneurs operate their businesses from their homes. If you happen to be a work from home entrepreneur, you’ll know from first-hand experience that it’s not a good idea to try balancing a laptop on the living room table and placing your file cabinet in the lounge!
In whatever spot it is in your house, make your workspace special and if possible set it up in its own room, away from the children when you’re trying to work. Design this room with efficiency and ergonomics in mind and don’t use it for leisure purposes. If feasible, try to have another computer set up in another spot for personal applications.
Habit No. 6 – A healthy body and mind, equals a healthy business.
If you don’t take care of yourself, all the rest of your habits will be tough to maintain. Exercise and fitness must become a habit and you should plan on getting at least three exercise sessions in per week.
Do whatever is easiest for you to take on as a new exercise habit. So if you don’t live near a gym, it’s unrealistic to plan to go to a gym three times a week, as you’ll find that you don’t have the time to travel to and fro. Always try to keep it simple – walking, running, cycling or dancing to an exercise DVD are all excellent examples of ways for you to keep your body moving, and they’re easy to integrate into your daily life as a mum as well.
Habit No. 7 – Create an outstanding superstar success team!
You’ve heard the expression “no man is an island” and the same applies to women! None of us can run a business alone and we all need support in various guises – mothers even more than most as we’re juggling so many commitments. Ask yourself what sort of support you need to become a highly successful mumpreneur and start to look for ways of building your “superstar success team.”
Professional coaching for women can help you to achieve your business goals much more quickly than you would on your own and is an important part of any highly effective mumpreneur’s success team.
But however you choose to build your team, don’t try to do everything on your own as there is so much to be gained from seeking the wisdom of good friends, confidants, associates and professional coaching experts. They can be superb sounding posts and lynchpins to your business success!
Amanda Alexander, Director of Coaching Mums, helps pressure-cooked, stressed working mums who long for more hours in the day. Through her coaching programmes and online life coaching courses, Amanda shows mums how to create fulfilling and successful lives. For your simple 5 step guide to balance as a working mum, download our free eBook today!
Tags: (coaching, (working mother, business, Family, mother, Parenting, women, work life balance)
When you are working through college or in the early years of your career, your life can feel pressure packed and often a little overwhelming. Think ahead to the time after maternity and you may be able to ponder on what “overwhelming” truly feels like, as you strive to balance being a mother and having a career at the same time. Working mums have incredible challenges, as they have to work toward efficiencies in so many different aspects of their daily lives. They have to be able to balance their career with what their clients, bosses and fellow workers expect of them along with the considerable challenge of raising a happy family. Little wonder that many working mums in this situation turn to online life coaching to help them get a grip on it all!
There are several specific traits that the vast majority of highly effective working mums have in common. They have taken time to analyse their position, understood the challenges that they face and put in place a plan to get them through it, plain and simple. Here, we have listed seven common habits that all of these highly effective mothers seem to have in common. As coaching for women is now a recognised and much valued service, the working mum need not necessarily be alone and overwhelmed anymore.
Habit 1.
Learn and practise time management. In each day there are only 24 hours, but it always seems like we need so much more time. Unless you have some amazing plan to change this some day soon, you’re just going to have to make do with the 24 hours like everyone else does! During professional coaching sessions, many of us hear that one of the primary habits of highly effective individuals is excellent time management, and this should be the main aspiration for the working mum too. Go relax in a quiet room with a notebook and give some consideration to your responsibilities. This means all of it! Make a note of how long every task or role takes you to complete, and when you’ve written down everything you can think of, tally it up. Your next job is to realistically condense it all into a manageable time-frame, giving you adequate time for each. Once you’ve set up your time management schedule, you’ve got to stick to it like glue.
Habit 2.
Set a routine. As an extension of time management, it is important to get into a routine. Some of us don’t like to be structured in this way, but if you are to become a highly efficient working mum you must do so. If you take one step at a time, complex tasks often feel a lot easier and this is definitely the case here. Turn away from that feeling of being overwhelmed and put one foot in front of the other. Establish a routine, which may take a couple of weeks to do, but once you have done so, your day should be a whole lot easier.
Habit 3.
Focus! Know that procrastination can be the enemy of efficiency. You have to avoid distractions. Hopefully, as part of your time management plan, you will have allocated a small amount of time per day or per week for things that you could classify as “other.” Don’t expand this time unnecessarily and don’t be tempted to run off for a quick cup of coffee with a colleague/friend/neighbour, unless it has already been built into your time management schedule, of course!
Habit 4.
Develop your productive space. Whilst you may be quite productive if you work away from home or at the office, if you are a work from home mum you had better ensure that your working space is very productive, comfortable and remote. Try your best to utilise a room which is not used for any other purpose, which can be closed off if needed, and try not to use your work computer for any leisure purposes. If you work from home you will have to be even more focused on time management, as there will be a whole host of other distractions to worry about.
Habit 5.
Don’t forget your fitness. All the planning in the world is no good if you find that you’re getting more and more “rundown”, and you find that you don’t have the energy necessary to undertake your daily life. When you’re planning your time management, allow for daily exercise routines. Maybe you have a treadmill at home or your membership to the local gym; either way this time cannot be compromised. Look at it as “fuel” for all the rest of your day.
Habit 6.
Maintain a support group. While you may know who to turn to at work for help should you need it, sometimes you just need support and help in the act of life itself. If you know someone else who is in a similar position, then you can support each other. Gather together as many trusted friends and/or relatives as you can, and don’t be afraid to lean on them during the times when it can all seem to get too much. Professional coaching may also provide the support you really need in this time of your life.
Habit 7.
Reward yourself. Remember that you need to look after number one, and while you’re doing a great job of balancing your career with motherhood, there must be some time for yourself. What is it that you particularly like to do? Whatever it is, plan “golden time” for yourself in your schedule. In this way, if things get particularly challenging for some reason, you will have something to look forward to. It is so important to acknowledge yourself – you’re not an automaton – even working mums need a reward!
Amanda Alexander is the Founder and Inspiration behind Coaching Mums. She’s a distinguished ICF accredited coach, who for almost seven years now, has been bringing a new feeling of hope into the lives of working mums from around the world, showing them how to discard their guilt, rediscover their passions and to have a lot more fun! For amazing articles and truly effective professional coaching tips, sign up to get “Inspire” right away, our absolutely outstanding free newsletter!
Tags: (working mother, career, Family, time management)
